The Power of Silence
Something that happened recently, really got me thinking about the power of silence. The more quotes I looked through on the topic the more inspired I became to really believe that silence is such a powerful tool we can all possess.
The first time I really thought about this was not prompted by the idea of people being silent but in fact in the silence of our surroundings. We had the most wonderful trip to Lapland last year and if you haven’t seen or read anything about it, where have you been? Ha! It was action packed and magical from start to finish, creating memories our family will cherish forever. One thing that I’m sure the kids won’t have noticed but my husband and I certainly did was the silence. Stepping out of our cabin, especially first thing on a morning you were greeted with total silence. I’m not talking walk in the countryside peaceful, I’m talking absolute silence. No birds singing, no trees rustling, no traffic, no distant industrial humming, just, silence. It gave such an instant feeling of tranquility that is actually really hard to describe or imagine without experiencing it for yourself. I have to add here that I’m not sure I could live like that all year around as the sound of nature is a truly beautiful sound. I’m certain the residents of Ruka Kuusamo where we stayed in Finnish Lapland also welcome the summer months and the awakening of nature.
Image captured by Harri Tarvainen.
To experience pure silence was a real privilege and I think that it is important for everyone to seek out moments of quiet as often as possible. It gives us time to relax and reflect and should be taken as an opportunity to empty our heads of negative thoughts. This brings me onto the concept that silence is power. A power, like any other, not to be abused but when used effectively can bring about so many benefits.
Silence can allow us to see people in their true light. In taking time to be silent and allow others to effectively fill the gaps, you can assess a person’s character. Observe what they say and how they say it, maybe hear the offhand comments you would otherwise have missed. You will get to know people much quicker and in a deeper sense by taking the time to be silent and learn about that person. It also helps you to pick up on social cues, see when people are upset, feel awkward or even need to leave the conversation. How many times have you said “I was talking to such and such and I couldn’t get away” that awful feeling as you are edging away or trying desperately to change your body language to show you have to leave but the person misses the social cues and carries on anyway. We all know at least one person who always has to fill the silence!
In life many people just wish to be heard and understood. If you can be that person who truly listens and understands then you will possess a charismatic quality that is admired by others.
Knowledge
Silence enables us to listen effectively, not just in waiting for our turn to speak but actually listen. If you struggle to avoid thinking of what you want to say next when listening to someone, try to focus on being silent instead. I know as we get older we can sometimes lose our train of thought but if what you have to say in response to someone is important, you’ll find it again in your head. Concentrate fully on what is being said to you and silence will bring you a new skill. It will bring you new knowledge. You learn nothing from speaking as you already know it.
Image captured by Harri Tarvainen.
Self Control
The next one is probably my favourite and really what prompted me to write this post in the first place. Self control. If your first response when you have seen or heard something that ignites a strong reaction within you, wasn’t to lash out but instead to be silent, then how much more in control do you look? You not only appear to be in control but you actually are, in fact, in control. Seeing what people post on social media and the subsequent comments are a real life example of the power of silence. Think before you strike that keyboard, think before you grab for the phone. Be silent and practise self control. You are the better person and silence is better than unnecessary drama. I experienced a turbulent year during my career in a high pressured manufacturing environment. The factory was closing after many years of trading, emotions ran high and people were very bitter. Arguments were a daily occurrence and a blame culture quickly developed. It was at the end of this time, one I look back on as character building, that I found my calm. I experienced daily drama and back stabbing and that helped me to learn that patience and silence is often the best solution. Now, and I’m sure those who I’m close to and who I work with can confirm, it takes a lot for me to lose my temper and I try to approach problems in a calm and controlled way. Silence being a key tool to be able to achieve this.
Wisdom
Finally there is wisdom. Making silence your first response when faced with a new challenge, gives you the chance to absorb and reflect before you speak and therefore increasing the chances that what you say and do will be on point, intelligent and effective. If we can resist the urge to respond or act straight away, quite often the problem fixes itself, meaning sometimes the wisest action is none at all.
Are you quick to lash out?
Do you feel satisfied afterwards or are you filled with regret?
Have you learnt the art of silence somewhere along the way in life?
Does patience come with age or is it built into our genes?
Image captured by Harri Tarvainen.
I’d love to hear your thoughts…
