If I Only Had A Month To Live
You will have heard it yourselves. You might have even said it yourselves. If I only had a month to live I would…
I can remember the conversations over the years, hearing people saying those words and nine times out of ten. It would be that you’d be jetting off quick as a flash to some tropical island, spending every last penny you have and partying like it was 1999. Sounds like a great way to go out! But the reality is, unless you’re in a blockbuster movie and only you know the world is going to end, it’s unlikely that’s how it will pan out.
It was just like any other weekend. We’d returned from a lovely winter break at Center Parcs the day before and on the Saturday the in-laws popped in to say hello. My Father-in-law always sat in the same seat but for some reason on this day, he sat on the sofa which was flooded with sunlight. When my husband (Paul) came through the kitchen doors after the initial greetings, he turned to his Dad and said “You look a funny colour, a bit yellow.” We put it down to the sunshine, even chuckled a bit and that was that. The next day we went to their house and seeing him now not in bright sunshine, we both commented that his skin colouring just wasn’t right. He agreed he would go to the doctors the next day.
And that’s when it all came crashing down. I’d just finished work and took a phone call from Paul to say his Dad had rang and asked if he could take him to the hospital. The GP had called him after his appointment, earlier in the day, to say he had suspected Leukaemia. His Dad’s words to Paul “Is that bad?”
What followed was several stints in hospital and very few days at home in between. Hospital appointments and blood transfusions. Having to stay away from lots of family and friends to avoid potentially serious infections that he could have picked up, but then got them anyway. The strain also on my Mother-in-law and husband with hospital visits, middle of the night ambulance calls and A&E trips was immense. The worst being admission to A&E at midnight on Christmas Eve and a long stay in hospital all throughout the festive period. The doctors were never able to give a prognosis. We knew he wasn’t able to have full chemotherapy so cure was extremely unlikely but the fact that the doctors were not able to say he had a month to live or he had two years to live was a big alarm bell for us.
During week nine my Father-in-law was told the treatment wasn’t working and there was nothing more they could do. A decision was to be made as to his care and his wish was to be at home with his family. A week later he passed away. Ten weeks from the initial diagnosis.
After one of the early meetings with the consultants, Paul turned to his parents and said “Well you need to buy the car you want and go on the holidays you want.” Their answer “We already do.” It’s wonderful that even in such a dire situation, they didn’t feel regret. They didn’t have a massive bucket list that they hadn’t got around to working through. Sadly, many people don’t reach an age where they can say the same but maybe it’s the motivation we all need to just bloody do it. Don’t over think things. Don’t put off going on adventures. It’s a total cliche but life really is for living. I hear so many people talking about their pension and their retirement and yeah yeah I get it, it is important to have financial plans but is it really important to have loads of savings right now or should we be spending our money on making memories and just enjoying life?
If you only had a month to live, sadly you probably wouldn’t be well enough to jet off to a tropical island or party like it’s 1999 so embrace life now. Don’t put off. Whether it’s your plans to get yourself fit and healthy, a new career, a car you’re dreaming about buying or a holiday you’d love to go on. Get out there and live life!
